I love synchronicity. This past week I was treated to a series of synchronistic events. It got my attention.
A week ago, a wise woman I know was sharing a story about a challenge in her life and she remarked, “I need to remember to stay inside my own hula hoop”. The image conjured up in me fond memories of myself as a young girl with a bright pink hula hoop with white stripes. I could hula hoop FOR-E-VER. Sometimes, I would hula hoop while watching “The Love Boat” on Saturday evenings in our family room in St. Louis, Missouri – for the entire episode. If I saw a hula hoop at someone else’s house, I couldn’t help but give it a try. I had not tried using a hula hoop for many years.
Stay inside your own hula hoop….
Photo credit: Familyeducation.com
The image of staying within my hula hoop has been with me since I heard my friend share the idea. I’ve thought about it in my family. As a Mom, I’ve been called a “helecopter parent” and even joked that I was a proud one at that. But, as my children have grown older and wiser, I realize that often it is better for me to let their ideas shine through rather than adding my own advice. Staying in my hula hoop as a Mom means, to me, giving my children room to be themselves and to allow their best selves to emerge. I am often struck by their thoughtfulness and the care with which they make decisions. No two people can share a hula hoop – it doesn’t work. As a Mom, staying in my own hula hoop also reminds me to take care of myself so that I can be there for them when they need me (and not be a burden on them in the future). As a daughter, I know it is important to respect my parent’s space, choices, independence, and lives. My mother has health problems and I am often told by her caregivers, “You need to tell her to do such-and-such (take it easy, don’t do something, etc.)” or they will talk to me with her sitting right there. I take great pains to remind them that she is the patient and gets to decide what is best for her. And so it goes. The hula hoop analogy is helpful to think about in my role as mother, daughter, wife, and friend.
organicauthority.com
At my work, staying in my hula hoop means to me respecting the hierarchy of my workplace. I work in higher education where there are many layers of leadership. Each person in the chain has an important role and needs to feel both informed and also in charge. It is my nature to want to be informed and to want to know what is going on. Most of the time, it either isn’t my business or isn’t something I need to worry about. Staying in my hula hoop – my lane – my chain of command – my job title – my building – always goes better than letting the hula hoop fall and stepping out of it. There is plenty to do within my own job and role as well. When I step back, people step forward and often better outcomes result.
Photo credit: Drawception.com
Earlier this week, I had a particularly challenging day. I felt anxious and uncertain about the future. I had people around me all wanting different things for me, disappointed in me, etc. I felt I’d let important people down. I felt misunderstood. I decided to take a walk with my dog, Beckham, to think and to settle myself down. It was a Thursday, trash day. As I walked through the neighborhood, I began to settle down. My breathing settled. My heart rate lowered. I began to think more constructively about my situation. I reflected on how long some of my neighbors had been in our community. My next door neighbor has lived in the same home since I was in high school. I’ve watched children being brought home from the hospital, walked in strollers, walking their dog, and walking a graduation stage. I was reminded of taking the long view. Taking one day at a time. Not trying to solve everything at once. Thinking for myself versus thinking through what I perceived as everyone’s expectations of me. As we turned down the street to my house, a glint of light caught my eye. As we came closer, I noticed a stack of colorful hula hoops sitting in my neighbor’s driveway along with their trash cans. I laughed out loud. OF COURSE the hula hoop message was JUST PERFECT for my situation. If I focused on myself, what I could control, and not try to control others, I could at least pare down what was making me anxious into smaller pieces. I looped about five hula hoops over my arm and decided I would put them to good use.
At work, I brought a pink hula hoop and leaned it against my whiteboard. inside the hoop, I wrote, “Stay inside your own hula hoop”. At home, I put a hula hoop in the planter between my garage doors. It is the first thing I see when backing down the driveway in the morning and the last thing I see when I pull into my parking spot at night. In my office at home, I leaned a hula hoop under the wall where I empty my purse at night. In my bedroom, there is a hula hoop peeking out from behind the headboard of my bed. While these may seem strange to those who see them, to me they are a simple reminder of a powerful way of being.
Pinterest.com
If you hold a hula hoop out in front of you, it creates a frame for whatever you gaze upon. I decided to put the hula hoops in places important to me as a reminder of this perspective. I also saw another “message” in the hula hoop. The letter “C” repeats itself at the left, top, bottom, and right. There are many words that start with the letter “C” that relate to this “stay inside your hula hoop” mantra. The word “CAUSE” is one of them. I could ask myself to remember that I did not cause the situation that is troubling me. Or, if I did, to do what I could to apologize or get out of the way. Another “C” word is “COMPLAIN”. If I complain about a situation, it is not likely to get any better and, more likely, it will get worse. Another “C” word is “CONTROL”. Remembering that I am not in control, that I shouldn’t over-control, and that by trying to control a situation I am likely going to make it worse. A “C” word to avoid is “CAN’T”. Most of the time, I can’t control a situation, but when I can do something about it, saying “I CAN” is better than “I Can’t”.
The three (or more) Cs: I can’t CONTROL the situation, COMPLAINING doesn’t help, I didn’t CAUSE the situation (or if I did, do something about it), and avoid CRITICIZING.
This morning, I shared my story about finding the hula hoops with a group of friends. Several asked me if they might have one of the hula hoops I had found. At the end of the gathering, one of the members walked back into the room with a stack of colorful hula hoops on his arm. He explained that he and his wife had gone to Baltimore the previous day and he thought he would take some hula hoops from his garage with him in case he saw children that might like to have them. He never saw any children. But when he heard my story and the fact that several people wanted to have one, he thought, “Synchronicity is often a sign that something special is going on”. He went out to his car and brought in the hula hoops to share with our group. The reaction was priceless. Each person got to choose the color and pattern that most appealed to them. It was such an adorable scene: Smiles all around, people asking for particular colors, and people trying their hula hoops. I will long remember the sight of our group walking out to their cars with hula hoops in hand.
The situation that led to my feeling anxious earlier this week is still present, but how I am thinking about it has lightened a bit. While my hula hoops may look like a misplaced piece of plastic and glitter, they are also a portal through which I can see myself and those I love in a fresh way.
Synchronicity is often a sign that something special is going on…
Stay inside your hula hoop – it is a whole lot more fun that way. Photo credit: Vogue June/July 1971
Follow us....by Share this....by Thanks for sharing!
I am currently in graduate school pursuing a Masters in Business with Nonprofit Management concentration. This semester, I am taking Organizational Theory and Nonprofit Management. Each course required me to prepare an annotated bibliography and an individual paper. With my instructor’s permission, I chose Sweet Briar College, my alma mater, as my focus (normally, you cannot pursue the same research subject in different courses).
My first assignment came in the Organizational Theory course. We were to take a case study covered in an academic journal and use it as a basis for our individual paper. This seemed daunting at first. However, as I began my research, I found many case studies with similarities to Sweet Briar College. The attempted closure of Wilson College has startling similarities to the attempted closure of Sweet Briar College. The annotated bibliography provides a “deep dive” in issues facing higher education and the lessons available to learn from Wilson College. You may find a link below.
As the paper came together, the title changed and some sources fell away in favor of others. The lessons learned from the attempted closure of Wilson College are relevant for many colleges. The abstract follows:
Wilson College in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, whose mascot is the phoenix, survived a closure attempt in the 1980s. Sweet Briar College, in Amherst, Virginia, whose mascot is a vixen (fox), faced attempted closure in 2015 and was saved by its stakeholders six months later. This paper explores case studies and articles reporting on Wilson College and Sweet Briar College. Other articles elaborate on trends faced by the Colleges and the broader sector of higher education. Reviewing these colleges provides valuable lessons on challenges facing higher education, particularly for private, single-sex institutions. The case for this research is Wilson College with comparisons to Sweet Briar College. Both colleges are small women’s colleges with enrollment under 1,000.
Never ever depend on Governments or institutions to solve any major problems. All solutions come from the passion of individuals. – Margaret Mead
While there are many issues to examine with respect to the President, Board and operations of Sweet Briar College, it seems fitting to focus for a moment on the efforts to SAVE the College. I feel I can take a little break from my ranting against the horrible leadership, governance and lack of proper administration for a bit. The legal team inspires confidence and there national experts rolling up their sleeves and taking aim at those issues. Most recently it is the Amherst County Board of Supervisors. I thought today I would share a glimpse at the amazing work being done to #saveSweetBriar.
Yesterday I attended a farewell gathering of a colleague at the University of Maryland and was asked by many in the room about Sweet Briar. I found myself describing my efforts and those of my fellow alumnae and felt my spirits rising with each retelling. It is a story built on determination. It is a saga filled with drama and intrigue. It is a case study in alumni activism that will likely become an inspiration for our sister Colleges and other small liberal arts Colleges around the country. I can also confidently say we have worthwhile lessons to share with colleagues around the WORLD. I met a visitor from the University of Manchester in England who asked me to share some of the key lessons learned. The Saving Sweet Briar efforts are the very example of what Margaret Mead famously wrote. Wait for it… (this isn’t the quote you are thinking I am going to use),
“Never ever depend on governments or institutions to solve any major problems. All social change comes from the passion of individuals.” — Margaret Mead.
I have served on many boards from schools to arts organizations to sports teams. Alongside many passionate parents (and some alumni), I have added my weight to a collective effort to move something forward. Never in my 30 years of volunteerism or professional experience have I seen the likes of the mobilized alumnae of Saving Sweet Briar. Allow me to pull back the curtain and share a few examples….
Saving Sweet Briar, Inc. Within days of the announcement of the Sweet Briar College President and Board’s decision to close, a group of courageous women banded together to formally fight the closure. First, they opened up their pocketbook to pay for necessary legal counsel in Troutman and Sanders. Second, they established a Board. Third, they applied for 501C3 status for Saving Sweet Briar, Inc. They had a vision and mission statement, a segment of which is here:
Saving Sweet Briar, Inc. was established to block the closure of Sweet Briar College and provide accurate information to students, faculty, and alumnae about the true financial condition of Sweet Briar College and the viable alternatives to closure. The organization is also dedicated to raising the necessary funds to fight the closure and help erase the school’s financial shortfall. Saving Sweet Briar, Inc. is also committed to identifying highly talented individuals who can serve on the Sweet Briar College Board of Directors to help lead an immediate turnaround for the institution while developing a longer term strategy with input from key stakeholders. Success in achieving our mission will ensure that future generations of women can proudly call themselves Sweet Briar alumnae.
In their own words, they all wish to be “out of a job” and see themselves as temporary stewards. An example of the kind of top-notch experts they have hired to provide advice and guidance for the future include a forensic accountant, R. Stephen Spitzer, and a college turnaround expert with solid examples of other institutions. The Board vets candidates for a new Board; they have a list of interested College Presidents with proven turnaround experience; experts on a number of fields are being vetted to provide real advice for the future.
The call to action is clear:
Spread the word
Share your Sweet Briar Story with your friends on social media using the hashtags #savesweetbriar and #thinkisforgirls
Volunteer
Do you have particular talents that would help us with our mission to save our school? Contact us.
Raise Money
We need money to support our school! Given the state of financial aid and higher ed, Sweet Briar needs to grow its endowment to stay viable. Crowdfunding information to follow.
Help Keep Our School Alive
There are over 500 women on campus who need our support. Help us help them keep our school alive.
In the meantime, the thousands of alumnae have managed to create an organizational structure rivaling some of the largest Universities (I speak with experience working for a B1G school, University of Maryland and serve on the University Senate). There are literally HUNDREDS of Committees of EXPERTS in their professional areas reporting up through Chairs who compile the information into master documents. The first of these documents, a Strategic Plan, was delivered to the Saving Sweet Briar board in time for the first injunction hearing. There are PhD experts, attorneys, professional fundraisers, accountants, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, medical doctors, coaches, scientists, elected officials, C-suite executives of every type providing advice that the College — any College or nonprofit — would pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to secure (I say this with experience having watched schools hire consultants for narrowly focused work and deliverables). Sweet Briar College itself by the Board’s own admission paid over $1 MILLION for a report that was never concluded and the Board members were not able to keep after reading it and voting to close the College.
Committee Structure. This is a case for the power of social media if there ever were one. Facebook, in particular, has provided the platform for alumnae to organize their efforts. Early in the process, pages were created for experts to share suggestions in different areas in the “Saving SBC Professional Roundtable” (a closed group so not hyperlinked here). Categories include every aspect of operations:
Academic Affairs, Admissions, Development/Fundraising, Diversity, Career Counseling, College Placement, Grounds & Facilities, Information Technology, Land (Creative Use of/Maintaining), Legal, Student Affairs, Social Life.
Each group has professionals who have spent their careers in these areas with best practices to share. The alumnae’s willingness to help is not just lip service. Examples of alumnae offers and efforts to assist include:
Deferred maintenance problems? Check. Habitat for Humanity-like plans for improvement including painting, plastering and even building repair by licensed contractors paid for by alumnae or their own companies. These are documented offers to help as they cannot execute these plans without coordination from the facility leadership.
Admissions/Recruitment problems? Check. Alumnae from around the Country have offered to reinvigorate a dormant network of volunteers to attend College Fairs, visit area feeder schools (and aspirant feeder schools), house admissions staff traveling, personally write interested students and their families. In addition, the Alumnae Angel Network are alumnae who sponsor students needing support transferring to another College. Even if this might mean losing a student needed for the future, the movement is supporting the current students in tangible ways.
Fundraising problems? Check. As of this writing, over $1 million in cash is in the Saving Sweet Briar accounts. Over $10 million in pledges over five years are being held in trust by Saving Sweet Briar for the College once the closure decision is reversed and there is a Board and Administration committed to the future. A Major Donor Task Force (of which I am a part) has weekly conference calls to coordinate outreach to past donors to the College and those who care and aren’t even affiliated. A Regional Task Force from each state writing to their residents, particularly those not on social media. Liaisons to classes (a traditional way to communicate with alumnae) share information on a weekly and even daily basis with links to give, participate and support. All of this has been accomplished without the tools fundraisers usually have (I know because I am one). For example, a donor database has been faithfully RECREATED through years of magazines publishing giving information and even programs from past campaign celebrations kept as keepsakes — now data for a defacto giving database. It is INCREDIBLE to watch and witness. This is worthy of its own blog post, stay tuned.
Communications Strategy? Check. The initial news stories reported the Board’s decision to close. The news of the alumnae outcry and mobilization was relegated to the comment section of most stories. However, the tide has turned. Now, major news outlets are reporting on the success of the alumnae efforts and on the amazing accomplishments of our alumnae, the morning of my writing the New York Times wrote about our alumnae and the efforts to save the College. This type of media battle and reversal of message does not happen easily. It has occurred through professionals and passionate individuals working with contacts to share opinion, provide worthwhile facts to report, verify stories and share perspective. Interestingly, the headlines of some of the earlier stories have changed from “College imploding” to “Alumnae Fight Closure”.
Conspiracy Theories? Check. One of my favorite movements within the Saving Sweet Briar collective, is a group a la Erin Brokovich that dedicates itself to researching the “back story”. The team (which includes some with investigative journalism experience) posts pieces of documents, theories, lists, etc. and a broad network do their further work and reports results. Some of these get passed along – once vetted — for journalists or the Saving Sweet Briar Board. Just when my own efforts to Save Sweet Briar might flag or my confidence wane or my enthusiasm might be dampened by some new comment by the “President”, someone from the group will post some new theory or angle that gets me MAD. They have even inspired and commissioned political cartoons. I have the one of the women turning over the rock next to my phone (for when I “dial for dollars”).
The efforts of the alumnae are truly inspiring.
Imagine – just imagine – if their efforts were harnessed BEFORE the College announced it must close.
Imagine if the Board took stock of this advice and reconsidered their decision?
Imagine if YOUR organization harnessed your stakeholders?
Sweet Briar is receiving DAILY national attention. Sweet Briar students, faculty, staff, alumni and community are rallying to share their expertise. The future IS bright and there is much to hope for with this kind of passion.
At this point, I cling to the other Margaret Mead quote – the one you know by heart – because I am seeing it validated on an hourly basis.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has. — Margaret Mead
Our aim is not the world for now. For now it is a small piece of the planet located in Southern Virginia, Sweet Briar.
Stacey Sickels Locke, CFRE, is a proud graduate of Sweet Briar College, Class of 1988. She served as an employee of the College in the early 1990s working on the $25 million Campaign. During that time, she solicited many leadership gifts which make up the current endowment and she feels a sense of duty that those donations are not used for the closure of the College or for any other purposes than the donors intended. Since then, she has spent her career building support for higher education and the nonprofit community as a staff member and consultant for boards. As a volunteer, she has served Sweet Briar since graduation as a fundraiser, admissions ambassador and now advocate for the #saveSweetBriar movement. She is a member of the Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP), is affiliated (through the University of Maryland) with the Council for Advancement and Support of Education (CASE) and holds a Certified Fund Raising Executive (CFRE) certification from CFRE International.
Follow us....by Share this....by Thanks for sharing!
“Bursting the Fundraising Bubble” — the idea that someone else is going to step forward and my support isn’t needed.
This post is inspired by the incredible outpouring of support in opposition to Sweet Briar College’s Board announcing they plan to close the College, but its themes can be relevant to anyone who has or is working on a fundraising campaign.
As a fundraiser for over 25 years working with all types of groups — schools, nonprofit boards, church stewardship groups, etc. some dynamics often occur. I thought I would gather them together in one place for consideration (and debunking).
Executive Summary (a.k.a. My articles are long so I am summarizing for you here :))
Warren Buffet or Knight on a White Horse will help us….Nope, while tempting, it is the key stakeholders of any Campaign who will ensure its success (or not).
A Major Corporation or Foundation will help us….Not likely. Corporations and Foundations have specific goals which often aren’t in sync with a charity and they have complex timelines and grant procedures.
Bystander Effect…someone else will help us….If you think someone else will step forward — and you don’t have to – you are wrong. Buck the trend and the bystander effect.
Buy-A-Brick Efforts…and pretty much anything that has a fixed price tag….Cute, fun and good for public relations, but not a sustainable fundraising strategy.
Major Gift Campaign & Baby Boomers… Major gift campaigns are critical, baby boomers are important, but all ages and demographics can and should be pivotal!
The “Knight on a White Horse” (artwork by Zetallis) Phenomenon (P.S. It is REALLY hard to find images of women on a white horse)
The “Knight on a White Horse” or what I also call the “Warren Buffett Syndrome” (my term) occurs when a group discusses how to meet its goal and looks outside of itself. It sounds something like this:
Who knows Warren Buffett (insert wealthy person’s name here who is not affiliated with the institution)? I’ll bet HE would support our cause.
It is true that those who can be the most generous are critical to any fundraising campaign’s success — 80% of the funds come from 20% of the people and sometimes it is an even narrower margin. But in nearly all cases with only extreme exceptions, the supporters of a fundraising campaign are the stakeholders of that institution: students, service recipients, parents, alumni, community.
The exception to this is when someone has a close personal or professional relationship to a celebrity or benefactor and can make a personal appeal. I have ONLY seen this work when someone has a long-time personal relationship built on trust with reciprocity when their request for support is in alignment with the benefactor’s charitable goals. A person not associated with an individual trying to get a message through has never worked in my experience. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying, but I would never want others to sit back and not think their own contributions were important when they hear of a possible “savior”….
The exception to this is when someone has a close personal or professional relationship to a celebrity or benefactor and can make a personal appeal. I have ONLY seen this work when someone has a long-time personal relationship built on trust with reciprocity when their request for support is in alignment with the benefactor’s charitable goals. A person not associated with an individual trying to get a message through has never worked in my experience. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying, but I would never want others to sit back and their their own contributions were not important when they hear of a possible “savior”….
“A Large Corporation or Foundation will help us…”
A Large Corporation or Foundation will help us….
Charitable Foundations and Corporate Foundations are another often misunderstood source of support. People hear of large holdings of Foundations and see large grants and think:
If ONLY we appealed to (insert name of famous Foundation), I’ll bet THEY would help us….
While it is true that Foundations and Corporations make generous gifts to institutions, it is always aligned with the core mission of those entities. In Corporations, there is usually a return-on-investment goal meaning they give, but they also wish to boost their brand, hire talent, etc. Foundations have specific missions to achieve and their grants come with complex reporting requirements which institutions often find onerous and sometimes realize to accept the funds they are diverting from their mission. There are also timetables for submissions and often closed processes for inquiring about support. In a fundraising Campaign with any sense of urgency, large foundations and corporations are rarely a solution. Family foundations, on the other hand, are often a good solution to a short-term need; however, there is always a personal connection to someone serving on a family foundation for a gift to come.
Bystander Effect
Bystander Effect — everyone thinks someone else will step forward (image courtesy University of British Columbia)
The other dynamic that causes fundraising campaigns to be sluggish is the phenomenon of bystander effect and bystander apathy. This socio-psychological effect is when a bystander will offer no assistance to a victim of something if others are present. The more people there are, the less likely someone is apt to step forward. In fundraising, it is the idea that someone thinks others are stepping forward and their support isn’t needed. The more successful the Campaign, the more people assume others have stepped forward.
Buy-A-Brick – great concept, but usually at the end of a successful campaign.
Buy-A-Brick Efforts…and pretty much anything that has a fixed price.
People love buy-a-brick efforts. And there is nothing wrong with them. The problem is this: Anything that has a price tag takes a donor’s charitable ability and reduces it down to a fixed price. Successful campaigns rarely succeed on these efforts alone. I’ve seen fundraising committees thrilled that they got a $100 brick from someone when that individual is giving six and seven figure gifts to other charities. Furthermore, usually the profit that comes off of an item is a small portion of what actually comes back to help a cause. This is not to say that the efforts aren’t worth it, they ARE (particularly for public relations purposes such as anything visible that helps get the brand and message out for a cause). It is just important to know that funds allocated to the cause itself and given outright and tremendously important and should be considered first before purchasing items where a percentage is given. The other down-side to these efforts is that the portion that could be tax-deductible is usually negligible.
I have been absolutely delighted to see the outpouring of support in response to the Saving Sweet Briar College movement. There is an entire website dedicated to all of the various things people are doing to help the College from t-shirts to stick-on nails to even tattoos. This is absolutely wonderful and inspiring. The important thing though is that people who purchase these things also make sure that they can – if they are able – make a direct and generous contribution to the cause itself. Here is a sample of the amazing creative and dedicated projects devoted to Saving Sweet Briar:
Major Gift Efforts & Baby Boomers…ALL ages and demographics count.
Baby Boomers represent 43% of giving, but that does not mean all ages can’t be pivotal.
It is true that 43% of total giving by individuals comes from Baby Boomers, but that also means that 57% comes from all other generations. Millennials are an incredibly passionate generation volunteering for causes they care about at a faster and larger rate than all other generations combined. Millennials are also generous.
Friends of Diversity is a movement within the Association of Fundraising Professionals — successful because it recognizes the strength of diversity in fundraising success.
It is also false that “changing demographic trends” lead to less giving or an inability to conduct a fundraising campaign.
Sweet Briar determined in 2011 that the alumnae’s changing demographics made it impossible to effectively conduct a large-scale fundraiser, Sweet Briar’s vice president for finance Scott Shank told The News & Advance.
This. Is. Bunk. In fact, diversity of institutions has strengthened giving and communities. Furthermore, socio-economic diversity DOES NOT mean families and alumni cannot give or become donors themselves. In fact, data shows that some of the most generous donors to Schools and Colleges are not from wealthy families, but rather are those who received scholarships and felt a duty to give back. Scholarship recipients are also far more likely to be loyal donors — critical to an institutions long term success.
What is missing from the Saving Sweet Briar College efforts is a major gift effort. Peer-to-peer, alumna-to-alumna requests to give, to give generously and to give more than the individual thought possible. These types of efforts are the backbone of any strong fundraising campaign. It is the next step in Saving Sweet Briar reaching its goals. How can you give a major gift? Give monthly, seek matching gifts, enroll your friends.
A small group of committed women can do amazing things, great example:
Saving Sweet Briar has raised over $3M since the Board announced its intention to close the College.
In the meantime, WHO is the best person to reach a fundraising goal?
YOU! YOU are the person who will meet the fundraising goal!
If you have read this far, PLEASE make a donation at this link.
Stacey Sickels Locke is a proud graduate of Sweet Briar College, Class of 1988. She served as an employee of the College in the early 1990s working on the $25 million Campaign. During that time, she solicited many leadership gifts which make up the current endowment and she feels a sense of duty that those donations are not used for the closure of the College or for any other purposes than the donors intended. Since then, she has spent her career building support for higher education and the nonprofit community as a staff member and consultant for boards. As a volunteer, she has served Sweet Briar since graduation as a fundraiser, admissions ambassador and now advocate for the #saveSweetBriar movement. She is a member of the Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP), the Council for the Advancement and Support of Education (CASE) and holds a Certified Fund Raising Executive (CFRE) certification from CFRE International.
Follow us....by Share this....by Thanks for sharing!
James Jones — the Commonwealth of Virginia requests his removal in its injunction.
“Argue for your limitations, and surely they’re yours.” — Richard Bach
The announced closure of Sweet Briar College provides much fodder for every stage of grief. The current President and leadership’s statements continue to horrify many alumnae and the public at large. Each time the President takes the microphone or speaks to press, the quotes get worse. The President of the Board, the President, the President’s wife and other leaders: How is it possible in 2015 that people could speak this way?
Here is how NOT to speak about higher education — or women — or diversity — in 2015
“Sweet Briar’s rich-girl days were long gone.”
— Sweet Briar President and Chair of the Board, Paul Rice
Rich girl days? Really? While every School and College may have a percentage of students whose parents are able to pay for tuition without any loans or grants being taken and provide for many of the extras, Sweet Briar has never been a majority “rich girl school”. Even back to the founding days of the College there were scholarships for financial need and students were able to work in all types of jobs to provide for their education and expenses.
Jones told The New York Times that for students who entered Sweet Briar in fall 2014, 37% are first-generation college students, 32% are minorities, and 43% received Pell grants — federal financial aid grants for low-income undergraduates.
To use this statement as a reason for the College closing is one of the most egregious Jones has made and has generated widespread ire. To have this statement made as a negative is extremely unfortunate. Some have picked up on this statement and repeated it in front of current students and their families both on campus and around the country — as if this is a negative. Colleges and Universities across the country are THANKFULLY becoming more diverse in many ways — racially, socio-economically. Mr. Jones’ wife describes it this way in a public Class of 1969 webpage:
Then you thought about the cost of four years of college today. That cost is far beyond what an average American middle class family can afford without great sacrifice and careful financial planning. But, Sweet Briar had a world-class riding program, so surely there were girls from super wealthy families attending, weren’t there?
Evidently not, Mrs. Jones. The majority of families in higher education today are described by the statistics your husband quoted and the average middle-class family. Sweet Briar should embrace these students and their families. A school of “girls from super wealthy families” is never a goal for even families who are blessed with extraordinary wealth. Diversity is a blessing to all.
Mr. Jones’ comments not only appeared in print, but on a call with thousands of alumnae he was bold to say:
“I guarantee you that the students of today and the students applying are not of the same caliber as your generations.”
This phrase has been repeated by some in support of closure and is extremely disrespectful for current students and their families.
Frankly, students who are bringing in Pell Grant income may be, in fact, contributing significantly to the bottom line. I raised a question to the former President when I visited for my 25th Reunion and she said, “It is the traditionally full-pay families who are sometimes paying the least – because they know they can negotiate. ”
Every school has a range of socio-economic diversity. To blame the closing of the school on a change in the percentages is irresponsible and offensive.
Sweet Briar is no longer the “horsy school on the hill,” current professor.
Horsy school on the hill? Good grief. One of Sweet Briar’s STRENGTHS which continues (based on this year’s award winning season) is its equestrian program. While a small percentage of Sweet Briar students ride horses and an even smaller percentage of students bring horses with them, to describe the College this way indicates a complete lack of awareness of the award-winning program as well as the successful athletes, including Lendon Gray, a three-time Olympian. Our award-winning sports teams and incredible coaches are one of the hallmarks of Sweet Briar — and frankly any College or University. Riding is something that gives us a niche and a good reputation.
Sweet Briar determined in 2011 that the alumnae’s changing demographics made it impossible to effectively conduct a large-scale fundraiser, Sweet Briar’s vice president for finance Scott Shank told The News & Advance.
2011 is a full enrollment cycle away from 2015 where we are now. It is very unfortunate that the College did not conduct a professional feasibility study of its alumnae testing REAL issues and themes. The last feasibility study of 200 alumnae was conducted by staff members (I have spoken to many alumnae who gave when I worked at the College and who participated in this study – they cited no confidentiality as staff were the interviewers; no theme of any concerns; no details about giving levels). This was a huge missed opportunity. Alumnae assert that the College did not come to them and the fundraising ability they have shown — in incredibly creative ways — is inspiring (to this fundraiser in particular).
To say that the “changing demographics” made it impossible to conduct a large-scale fundraiser is completely offensive. This was my reaction initially and then I heard from the editor of the leading industry publication in my field (when she read about Jones’ and Shank’s statements)
I didn’t attend Sweet Briar, but I have to say that as a person of color (and donor to causes I care about) this bit attributed to the institution raised my ire.
By the way — news flash — one of the most generous groups of alumni are those who received scholarships and support themselves because they feel a duty to give back. Some of the world’s leading philanthropists did not come from wealth — someone helped them. Chances are, your “changing demographics” may actually be the source of great support in the future.
In response to why the College couldn’t adapt or change….
Here’s more from Jones’ conversation with IHE earlier this month on Sweet Briar becoming co-ed:
Jones said that, at Sweet Briar, going coeducational did not seem like a simple solution. He said that such a move would have required lots of money for scholarships and facilities, and he wasn’t subtle about the purpose of the spending. “We would need scholarships to basically buy males,” he said.
Buying males? Are you kidding me? I have two sons, one college age. He is not “for sale”. He chose to attend a small, liberal arts College in the Midwest. As a parent, I would have loved to have him consider Sweet Briar (albeit with a different male-counterpart name). I imagine there would have been many more interested and they would not have to be “bought”. Even if it is true that merit or scholarship support might be necessary in a greater percentage initially, to frame it as “buying males” is just disgusting.
The Chair of the Board, Paul Rice stated (when dismissing the possibility of going co-ed)….
Rice elaborated on the projected increased spending in The New York Times.
“You don’t just take ‘ladies’ off of every other bathroom door and put ‘men’ up,” Rice said. “You have to add programs and facilities, athletics. All of these things take significant investment and time.”
This is the Chair of our Board folks. Obviously, a co-ed environment requires some adaptations. There are men and women’s bathrooms in every facility on campus as it is. How do you think we get through Reunions? We have men and women in dorms, attending events and classes all across campus. It would not be terribly difficult to allocate a dorm for male students. We have sons of current faculty and staff who attend Sweet Briar. With the new athletic facility, a key asset was available. Furthermore, the College has capacity for far more students than it current enrolls, so even a small percentage of men initially could no doubt have been accommodated. To hear this decision dismissed so callously down to labels on bathrooms doors is embarrassing and does not instill confidence in the decision making or deliberations of the Board.
“Leave it to a man to destroy what a woman made” – banner hanging on the bell tower.
In the initial announcement about the closure of the College, the President seems to indicate that people just don’t chose a College like Sweet Briar anymore. He wrote,
“While the College has long been part of my life, as my wife is a 1969 graduate…..The board, some key alumnae and I have worked diligently to find a solution to the challenges Sweet Briar faces. This work led us to the unfortunate conclusion that there are two key realities that we could not change: the declining number of students choosing to attend small, rural, private liberal arts colleges and even fewer young women willing to consider a single-sex education, and the increase in the tuition discount rate that we have to extend to enroll each new class is financially unsustainable.”
This statement is telling because it seems to be that there was just a small group of “key” alumni who convinced themselves there was no hope. He then refers to them as “us”. Clearly, he left out the voices of thousands of alumni and his own faculty and staff who had very brilliant ideas (and who debunk with facts and figures the statements of why they needed to close).
It seems President Jones, the Board Chair and others have forgotten that there are HUNDREDS of current students at Sweet Briar College who HAVE chosen to attend a small, rural, private liberal arts college. There are also HUNDREDS of small, rural, private liberal arts colleges who are open and have smaller endowments than Sweet Briar.
Mrs. Jones, the President’s wife, uses some of the same language in the Class of 1969 webpage where she issues a public comment.
Why were the grounds not pristine as they had always been? You noticed the peeling paint, the shabby parlors, the rotting balcony about to fall off of Alumnae House, and that uneasiness grew…. Maybe you just wanted to let this new president know that it was not “the Sweet Briar way” to have the campus looking like this.
Shabby parlors? “The Sweet Briar Way?” Actually, due to surging enrollment, many of the parlors had turned into dorms and office spaces. That isn’t such a bad thing. And, yes, deferred maintenance was a problem, but no one had thought to appeal to the alumna who have since offered to organize a Habitat-for-Humanity like work project along with funding to catch up. Some people find older homes charming….
The President’s wife went on to say,
Even though you knew the demographics information: students in 2014 were turning away from single sex colleges, they were flocking to schools in urban and suburban areas that offered more vocational type curricula, they were more concerned about spending their education dollars to be trained for a job than looking for a broad liberal arts education.
Mrs. Jones, you forgot to add the important lack of a Starbucks that your husband was quoted as saying on the call with alumnae about the closure. Seriously though, there ARE people who choose small Colleges and liberal arts education still thrives.
The announcement of Sweet Briar’s closure ends with a quote by another 1969 alumna, Elizabeth H.S. Wyatt ’69:
“If we make the decision to close now, we will have a better opportunity to conclude academic operations in an orderly, compassionate and ethical way that pays homage to those who are here today and to those who came before us.”
This sounds like someone with their hands folded in their lap, speaking to a child. Perhaps it was expected that Sweet Briar alumnae would behave like “good girls” and just take this decision and go quietly onto other interests. But, no, President Jones describes our reaction this way:
“emotional, overwrought, irrational”
Patronizing has never had a better example than this. This is classic male behavior and language. “Irrational” is such a convenient word for men, perpetuating their sense of superiority. This is CLASSIC sexism used to describe essentially what is a different way of being. One of the reasons we attend Sweet Briar is to learn such things (I was a Psychology major). Men tend to think they are logical and not use feeling words; women aren’t afraid to express and use their emotion. Emotion is the antithesis of logic. When men perceive women as being too emotional (or a way you don’t want us to be), men say women are being irrational. Crazy. Wrong. Overwrought. Minimizing somebody else’s feelings is trying to control them. If they no longer trust their own feelings and instincts, they come to rely on someone else to tell them how they’re supposed to feel. I suspect this is how a percentage of our alumnae are feeling right now (I’ll refrain from using decade generalizations) because they have people around them telling them how to feel and pointing out those who resist in negative ways. I hope they can free themselves of this path and find their voice.
The press release regarding the President and Board’s refusal to step down refined the term to describe the #SaveSweetBriar movement as:
“well intentioned”
The number of alumnae who turned out to welcome students back from their spring break — traveling far and wide — outnumbered the entire population of campus. The funds raised in 10 days exceed the entire fundraising goal for the year. The faculty unanimous voted in opposition to the Board and President. Dismissing this energy and commitment shows how out of touch the President is with the stakeholders of the institution.
To CBS, Mr. Jones was asked by the interviewer, “Was there anything anyone could do?” Mr. Jones replied,
“No, there was nothing anyONE could do.”
Mr. Jones doesn’t think there was or is anything anyone could do because he is surrounded by such a small group of pessimistic people. In fact, once alumnae, faculty and parents learned of the President and Board’s decision, THOUSANDS have rallied and raised MILLIONS. Clearly he does not see the future and sees nothing that could be done. The logical thing for him to do is step down and allow those who see a future and have more creative ideas to lead.
These are just a few examples of how NOT to talk about women, diversity and education in 2015. Certainly not as leaders of an institution with current students, parents, faculty, staff and thousands of alumnae hanging on your every word.
This alumna is embarrassed by your comments and have found myself apologizing to people well beyond the walls of Sweet Briar — including leaders in higher education and the national media.
Stacey Sickels Locke is a proud graduate of Sweet Briar College, Class of 1988. She served as an employee of the College in the early 1990s working on the $25 million Campaign. During that time, she solicited many leadership gifts which make up the current endowment and she feels a sense of duty that those donations are not used for the closure of the College or for any other purposes than the donors intended. Since then, she has spent her career building support for higher education and the nonprofit community as a staff member and consultant for boards. As a volunteer, she has served Sweet Briar since graduation as a fundraiser, admissions ambassador and now advocate for the #saveSweetBriar movement.
Stacey Sickels Locke, CFRE
James Jones
Here is some suggested reading on this topic (and to avoid further embarrassment):
Our Country and World is reeling from situations, episodes and terrorism inflicted by individuals and groups . As I write, the march in France decrying the terrorism against the Charlie Hebdu attacks and the Kosher grocery store in Paris is underway. In the U.S. episodes between police and perpetrator/victim (depending on how you see it) are making national news and are frequent topics of discussion.
Ahmed Merabet’s (the police officer gunned down by the Charlie Hebdue terrorists) eulogy is worth reading on this topic and I want to share it here in case you did not see it. This speech by Ahmed’s brother Malek, did not draw the television cameras as the 44 global leaders did, but probably should have.
My brother was French, Algerian, and of the Muslim religion. He was very proud of the name Ahmed Merabet, proud to represent the French police, and to defend the values of the [French] Republic: liberty, equality and fraternity.
Through his determination, he had just received his judicial police diploma and was shortly due to leave for work in the field. His colleagues describe him as a man of action who was passionate about his job.
“MADNESS HAS NEITHER COLOR NOR RELIGION”
Ahmed, a man of commitment, had the will to take care of his mother and his relatives following the death of his father 20 years ago. A pillar of the family, his responsibilities did not prevent him from being a caring son, a teasing brother, a generous uncle, and a loving companion.
Devastated by this barbaric act, we associate ourselves with the pain of the families of the victims.
I address myself now to all the racists, Islamophobes, and anti-Semites:
One must not confuse extremists with Muslims. Madness has neither color nor religion. I want to make another point: stop painting everybody with the same brush, stop burning mosques or synagogues. You are attacking people. It won’t bring back our dead, and it won’t appease our families.
Thank you.
(speech translation copied from Vox Media)
Upon reflecting on this, I think about my own religion and a recent case of a senior leader, Heather Cook, striking and killing a very popular cyclist, Thomas Palermo. Rallies have been ridden in his memory and the case has made our local and regional news. She has been charged with vehicular manslaughter, being drunk and texting while driving.
No one has asked me to answer for her or asked me to speak on behalf of Episcopalians everywhere about her actions. Is this indicative of a larger problem? Yes. Because I happen to be part of a religious tradition that isn’t seen in a stereotypical way (well, it is, but not in ways that impact my daily life and how people treat me).
I’ve worked with and been a part of the Episcopal Church for many years and I’ve known of numerous religious and lay people with drinking problems. I’ve also known many who have extreme views and have left the Episcopal Church for the Anglican movement. I attended church in Charleston, South Carolina a few years ago and was horrified at what I heard from the pulpit (blatant sexism and racism and unapologetic condemnation of various groups). Thankfully, I know that these types of extreme views are not shared by the majority of Episcopalians.
There are many radical Christians who commit murder and hurt other groups in the name of Christianity. I am not asked to answer for them or seen differently for what they do.
Why is this relevant?
Well, my friends who are Muslim ARE asked to answer for people within their tradition who do extreme things. These friends are treated differently by their neighbors, community, colleagues because there is a new fear – stereotype – that is applied to members of their religious tradition.
How would I feel if everyone who knew I was Episcopalian thought I was an alcoholic, or that I’d killed people while driving drunk or texting? Or that I am racist? Or that I am sexist? I know this is a pathetic example, but I know I would feel pretty bad and probably also angry. I don’t even KNOW the Bishop who struck and killed a cyclist in my town. I certainly don’t think I could answer for her – and wouldn’t want to.
On my Facebook page and in conversations, some of my friends are advocating all sorts of pretty radical responses to the French attacks – which lumps in the terrorist monsters with all people who are Muslim.
So, to them and to those who think this way, I bring to light Malek Merabet’s words and vow to do my small part in bring about a change to the stereotyping, Islamaphobic, and anti-semitic tide.
It stops with me. Je suis Malek Merabet.Follow us....by Share this....by Thanks for sharing!
I saw three ships come sailing in On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day; I saw three ships come sailing in On Christmas Day in the morning.
My day of service continued…
I got a call from my Dad asking if I could help him with “the boat”.
“The Boat” has been a source of joy, angst, contention, even legal action…
Today, “Gone with the Wind” (a.k.a. “the boat”) was in a marina near Annapolis. She (boats are referred to as “she”) was parked under a tree. This is not good when tiny scuppers designed just for salt water get filled with leaves and seed pods. This leads to the cockpit filling with water. When the snows fall, things can really go badly.
My Dad asked me to help rig a tarp over the boat on this uncharacteristically balmy day in December.
I’d just spent the day helping my Mom, it seemed fitting I should help my Dad.
And what was in those ships all three, On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day? And what was in those ships all three, On Christmas Day in the morning?
We arrived at the Marina in the late afternoon. The marina was a sea of boats. It is a surreal experience walking amidst a marina of boats. Kind of like walking through a forest of trees with glinting sunlight through the spaces of all of the hulls and keels nestled together like puzzle pieces.
Yacht yard
Pray, wither sailed those ships all three, On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day; Pray, wither sailed those ships all three, On Christmas Day in the morning?
It took us a while to find “Gone with the Wind”. The boat was renamed when my Dad purchased the boat after he and my Mom separated. It was previously named “Freedom”, which seemed a bit too “in your face”. The lettering matches the movie. Over the years, Gone with the Wind has seen more than her fair share of adventures (but that’s for another story).
Even though my parents are divorced, they have found a way to work together over the years. They never made us choose over the holidays, for example. We could celebrate with both of them.
The Virgin Mary and Christ were there, On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day; The Virgin Mary and Christ were there, On Christmas Day in the morning.
Today our task was to make a tent over the boat with a tarp. All around us were beautifully-wrapped boats in white plastic perfectly hermetically sealed. My Dad and I unfurled our tarp and lines. We balanced a ladder against the boat and – precariously – we got up onto the deck. A sea of boats facing all different directions surrounded us. The sun was setting and the temperature was starting to drop.
O they sailed into Bethlehem, On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day; O they sailed into Bethlehem, On Christmas Day in the morning.
The tarp was 9 ml plastic. Suffice it to say, it was not the flexible kind. We managed to get the tarp over the boom and laced together the front around the mast. A pattern began to emerge whereby we crossed the front and fastened it to the rails. We pulled the tarp over the sides of the rails. My father lashed the tarp around the keel with the grommets placed every few feet. Inside our (now very dark tent), I worked on sweeping up all of the leaves and seed pods.
And all the bells on earth shall ring, On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day; And all the bells on earth shall ring, On Christmas Day in the morning.
As my father worked below the “waterline”, I worked above. Once we finished, only a tiny bit of daylight peeked through. “Gone with the Wind” was “ship shape” as they say. My final task was to literally stitch the stern closed which reminded me of my wedding dress which my father tied on my wedding day.
Wedding dress
Mission accomplished! We took some final photos of our work to shoot to my Mom and made our way home.
Warm for the winter.
Then let us all rejoice again, On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day; Then let us all rejoice again, On Christmas Day in the morning.Follow us....by Share this....by Thanks for sharing!
This Advent Sunday – 12.7.2014 – I was of service…
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas Ev’rywhere you go; Take a look in the five-and-ten, glistening once again With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.
I started the morning at my Mother’s house. Sometimes she needs help moving things from place to place so that she can do more. My Mom is one of the most talented and hardworking people I know.
Upstairs it was all candy canes aglow. Downstairs was another story.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, Toys in ev’ry store, But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be On your own front door.
So, I spent the morning moving boxes, organizing shelves, as my friend Christina would say, “Turning piles into files…” Out the front door I went with 20 boxes, discarded bags of all kinds, bags and bags of trash.
A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots Is the wish of Barney and Ben; Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk Is the hope of Janice and Jen; And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again.
I love how my Mom says, “We”. This used to annoy me, but now I find it endearing. “We need to find a place for this…”, “We need to make some order out of this.” We found 20 pair of no longer useful hopalong boots and shoes. We found discarded toys, school bookbags and boxes of books.
Now that we have moved boxes out of the way and cleared a path in the middle of her basement, a craft zone has emerged. This feels familiar.
My Mom is a very talented person. Growing up, she made our clothes. She made my skating costumes. She had a business making amazing skating bags out of quilted fabrics before Vera Bradley even existed. I remember her staying up all night long while I was a teenager waking me up to go skating and she had never slept (trying to fulfill orders from skaters all over the country for bags before Christmas). I would give anything to have one of those bags. Fortunately, I do have some of her hand-beaded skating costumes.
Now, she makes necklaces and earrings out of beautiful beads collected over the years.
The zones of the basement include beads, sewing, painting, planting…
Growing up, there was always a project at Christmas. Throughout my house and the homes of our relatives, my Mother’s handiwork adorns many homes. Hand-painted Santas with historical details; painted angels; ornaments made with tinted glue and gold thread; amazing glittering ornaments on my tree including angels, a country stagecoach, santa, elves.
The best Christmas craft was making personalized nutcrackers after my sons including their current hairstyles, soccer balls and numbers on their
Talent flows through our family tree. My Aunt sent us quilted hand-made gifts each year. Her tree adorns a table in our family room. The woven wreath is on the back door.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas Ev’rywhere you go; There’s a tree in the Grand Hotel, one in the park as well, The sturdy kind that doesn’t mind the snow.
Later in life, cookbooks were the project. Collected recipes from family bound in special notebooks wrapped in red taffeta, embossed with gold foil and held together with gold and red cord. I still turn to that cookbook at the holidays.
I brought my Mom a ham-bone when I arrived (promised after our Thanksgiving ham). Throughout my visit, the aroma of ham and bean soup filled her home.
My Mom’s current talents are around food. Canning in particular. the shelves of her basement are lined with soups, stews and sauces of all kinds. I’ve learned if I spend a few hours, I might get to savor one of her creations.
Over some of her canned (the Mason jar kind) amazing tomato soup, we had a serious discussion sharing our perspective over some of the things our family has gone through in the past few years. We differed in perspective, but we aligned on a commitment to move ahead. She reminded me of the goodness in places and people where I’ve found it challenging to see the good. I respect my Mom as a Mom. And for her good thoughts. And for her talent.
It feels good to do good.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas; Soon the bells will start, And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing Right within your heart.Follow us....by Share this....by Thanks for sharing!
After posting for a bit on our Honeymoon Everyday blog, it seemed there were some experiences worth sharing that were best in their own place.
UnLOCKEd (a play on our name, Stacey & Lyn Locke) is a play on a theme that evolved naturally through my Pinterest pages
Stacey & Lyn Locke on their wedding day.
. It started out as Home UnLocked, then Inspiration UnLocked, etc. It has grown to thousands of images and thousands of followers (thanks)!
Inspired by a blog shared with me on December 1 – a virtual Advent Calendar – I was inspired to create my own.Follow us....by Share this....by Thanks for sharing!
Lessons Learned, Musings, Insights I Don't Want to Forget, Life Hacks, and the Occasional Recipe by Stacey Sickels Heckel Locke
by 
